Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Weight-Loss Etiquette

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Situation:  My wife and I are both trying to lose weight. Every time we go to a friends house for dinner, my wife brings some food along thats tasty but not fattening. She says that way we can be sure to have something we can eat. But I feel embarrassed.  She says that women bring their own food to dinner parties all the time and
that its a common courtesy.
 I told her that I think its rude and that we should eat whatever our friends offer us. Whos right?
Strategies: Its true that taking a dish that fits into your weight-loss plan is an often-used strategy for dealing with social situations in which the food offered may not fit with your plan—the strategy must be working for your wife because she keeps doing it despite your objections.  I believe that your dilemma can be fixed by refram- ing the situation. Clearly, your wife finds safety and security in know- ing that she is in control of at least part of the meal when you’re dining with friends. Thats important to her, and you need to respect that (chances are your hostess respects it, too). At the same time, your embarrassment about showing up with extra food or your own food when you’ve been invited for a meal is understandable.  I sug- gest that you and your wife make this agreement: at the time your hosts extend an invitation, offer to contribute a dish to the meal. If your wife and the hostess agree that you’ll bring the appetizer or dessert or a side dish as part of the meal, you will eliminate the mes- sage that seems to be saying, “I need to bring something that I can eat. Instead, you and your wife can feel that you are making a con- tribution to the meal and are helping the hostess out by taking care of one course of the meal. Theres a bonus to you as well. While you’re enjoying the dish with your friends, you are enhancing your ability to stick with your weight-loss program.
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