Sunday, November 18, 2012

All Talk and No Weight-Loss Action

Situation:  My wife and I have been married for seven years. Her weight is driving me crazy! It seems as if shes always talking about losing weight, but from what I can tell, she isnt doing anything— she keeps getting heavier. When I tell her what I think she should do, she becomes angry and accuses me of being insensitive and uncaring.
I do care! My wife has gained 75 pounds since we have been married, and I would like the woman I married  to return. How can I help her lose weight?Strategies: It looks as if you’re experiencing one of the major differ- ences in how men and women approach weight loss. Women like your wife tend to work through their decision to lose weight in a verbal way. In other words, shes thinking out loud. In order to make the leap to lasting weight loss, she needs to go through the stages of thinking and then planning before she will be truly ready to take action. Men, on the other hand, tend to do their thinking and plan- ning silently, verbalizing their decision to lose weight only as they are acting on it. Telling your wife to take action now is not working because shes not yet at the stage where shes ready to do that. To help her get there, accept that she needs to think and plan. When she talks about losing weight, ask her a few questions that might help her find her way. For example, is a lack of confidence a prob- lem? If so, reinforce the idea that she can successfully lose weight and remind her that you’ll be there to help her every step of the way. Does she have other priorities that are keeping her desire to lose weight at the bottom of her to-do list? Helping her sort through those other priorities—whether they involve the desire to be the per- fect parent, keep an immaculate home, or advance in
a job—may help her move weight loss closer to the top of her list.
You’ll know that your wife has moved from thinking to planning when she starts to talk about specific weight-loss methods. Rather than give her your opinion of what will work, ask her about the pros and cons, and challenge her to find ways to overcome the proba- ble barriers before getting started. Listening to your wife and assess- ing where she is in her approach to weight loss will provide you with insights that will allow you to help her get to the place where she needs to be to make weight loss a reality.

Author: verified_user

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